Recent findings have shown that a dollop of lemur semen* applied twice daily to the face, will help reduce the risk of rosacea and skin cancer. It is also believed to be effective in reducing acne scars and pock marks on or about the face, back, and/or buttocks. Lemur semen is not currently available over-the-counter, but can be procured manually at the zoo, by using a breast pump, a small baggie of raspberries, and a heaping helping of the element of surprise!
* not available in females of the species.
