Feeling like your pants are a maze of stinky confusing parts?
Need a way to liberate your undercarriage?
Yearn to find wonderment beneath your pantsuit?
You are not alone.
Get yourself some geese teeth (available from your local Shaman or regional Gooseman).
Attach your goose tooth to your belt buckle or the waistband of your undergarments, [...]
Archive for March, 2008
GEESE TEETH: YOUR GATEWAY TO A HAPPIER UNDERCARRIAGE
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged GEESE, MESSY, PANTS, TEETH, UNDERCARRIAGE, WONDERMENT on March 22, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
KEEP A PEANUT IN YOUR SHOE
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged BOWEL MOVEMENTS, GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER, LEGUMES, PEANUTS on March 19, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Keep a peanut in your shoe and keep your bowels regular.
Most people would be content with a single bowel movement a day, but most “health professionals” will tell you that in order to be “regular”, one should defecate after every meal. We have discovered that by placing a single peanut in your shoe, you will [...]
LEMURS HOLD THE KEY TO SOLVING YOUR SKIN PROBLEMS
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged acne, lemurs, rosacea, semen, skin cancer on March 17, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Recent findings have shown that a dollop of lemur semen* applied twice daily to the face, will help reduce the risk of rosacea and skin cancer. It is also believed to be effective in reducing acne scars and pock marks on or about the face, back, and/or buttocks. Lemur semen is not currently available over-the-counter, [...]
ADMIT IT. YOU KNOW NOTHING.
Posted in Uncategorized on March 17, 2008 | 2 Comments »
Or at least admit that you know far less than we do.
We can and will change that.
There is still hope for you. (maybe)
You’re welcome.
